It suggests people will recover; the pain will go away with time. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
…A person might initially pursue their old mate — in an attempt to win back their affection. However, if pursuit is indeed fruitless, then the brains of individuals may act to correct certain emotions and behaviors, paving the way for people to become attracted to new mates and form new relationships.”
In other words, heartbreak is supposed to happen. It’s a mechanism to help ensure high quality pairings. Of course, not everyone experiences breakups or heartbreak in the same way. For example, the ability to grow from the experience is correlated with the personality trait of agreeableness.
In her NYXs article The Best Way to Get Over a Breakup, Anna North describes a study of 210 brokenhearted people ages 17-29. Researchers Sabarra and Larson split them into two groups, one of which talked about feelings several times over a nine week period. They found that the group that had verbally expressed their feelings and thoughts gained more self-understanding than the control group.
The speaking exercise helped people, he explained, because “it improved their sense of self independent of their former partner.”
That improved sense of self, in turn, led to reductions in loneliness and “emotional intrusion.” As for why the exercise worked, Dr. Sbarra has a few theories. “There is a degree of habituation that takes place as you are repeatedly thinking and talking about the process” of a breakup, he said. “You defang it a little bit.”